The problem with being an etiquette buff is that I tend not to take too much notice of technology generally. Preferring a beautiful pen and lovely stationery, I generally just 'make do' with computers and the like.
So... I got the link wrong in my last post. My new etiquette blog can be found here. Apologies for the confusion!
Affectionately,
Ms S.
Monday, July 4, 2011
Steel forged in fire...
A few years ago, a friend shared a quote she had heard - that the strongest relationships, like steel, were forged in the hottest fires. At the time, Himself and I were going through a difficult stage so the quote meant a lot.
It has been months since I last blogged. I've been thinking about it on and off... but being quite a private person, I've found the challenge of blogging - when I'm going through some very difficult times - very, very hard. I suppose sometimes that writing things down allows one to think them through, but I still find it difficult to write this all down.
At the end of last year, I accepted a contract against my intuition. At the time, the company seemed dodgy but the project was interesting so I accepted. I was right - it was very dodgy and for the most part, it was awful. Although I wasn't bullied (like many of the staff), I was actively prevented from doing any of the work I was supposed to be doing. I was bored silly! Anyway, by the middle of May, I had finished the project six months ahead of schedule so I resigned.
I resigned, in the knowledge that I had another contract offer on the table - which I had accepted. The role was with a large national organisation and would allow me to move further into the commercial field. However, it was not to be. I am unsure as to who wasn't telling the truth - the company or the recruitment agent - but somewhere along the line, it was revealed that the job didn't exist and there was no money for contract work.
Meanwhile, I was madly applying for other roles as I need to work - both financially and emotionally. I was called for interview to step into the breach at a university - left following a resignation. After a hurried interview, I was told I would start 'tomorrow'. The following day, I was up and about, ready for the go-ahead call. It didn't come. Three weeks later, another interview to be told that they would be going ahead. A week later... acknowledgement that I was 'too good' for the role and that I would be suitable for another project which they think is starting in November.
So in the last 5 weeks, I've been messed around, lied to, manipulated and am now so frustrated that I am getting down about it. I am constantly shocked by the lack of ethics in the arena as it seems companies 'go fishing' to see who is around... when no job exists. The ethical framework of many recruitment companies is, well, non-existent.
It has been a very difficult period for me, personally, and as the other half of a marriage. I place high importance on my career and my ability to contribute to our financial life and to the broader community. I haven't been able to do that so I am feeling pretty useless.
I have been keeping myself busy but it has been a challenge and I find myself searching for things to do. There is only so much cooking and cleaning I can do before I get a bit loopy!
This week, I am waiting on three calls about possible work. Unfortunately, many roles are out of my league because I am over-qualified for them. More senior roles take a long time to recruit for, for example, one call I am waiting on is following an application over 4 weeks ago. In that time, I've also had a 'casual telephone conversation' and submitted a written proposal (in addition to a coverletter and CV).
I'm rambling, I know. I apologise! I just wanted to let you all know that I am still here but had not been blogging due to other complexities happening in my life. I am hoping that the quote is true and, like steel, I will become stronger due to this process. I am certainly developing a more cynical view of the recruitment sector and will be less likely to trust people I don't know in the future. This is really rather sad, but necessary, in my view.
You might want to check out my other blog, Always Keep Yourself Nice, which is in response to numerous calls to help people sort out the minefield of modern etiquette. Feel free to ask questions or suggest topics for discussion.
Until next time...
It has been months since I last blogged. I've been thinking about it on and off... but being quite a private person, I've found the challenge of blogging - when I'm going through some very difficult times - very, very hard. I suppose sometimes that writing things down allows one to think them through, but I still find it difficult to write this all down.
At the end of last year, I accepted a contract against my intuition. At the time, the company seemed dodgy but the project was interesting so I accepted. I was right - it was very dodgy and for the most part, it was awful. Although I wasn't bullied (like many of the staff), I was actively prevented from doing any of the work I was supposed to be doing. I was bored silly! Anyway, by the middle of May, I had finished the project six months ahead of schedule so I resigned.
I resigned, in the knowledge that I had another contract offer on the table - which I had accepted. The role was with a large national organisation and would allow me to move further into the commercial field. However, it was not to be. I am unsure as to who wasn't telling the truth - the company or the recruitment agent - but somewhere along the line, it was revealed that the job didn't exist and there was no money for contract work.
Meanwhile, I was madly applying for other roles as I need to work - both financially and emotionally. I was called for interview to step into the breach at a university - left following a resignation. After a hurried interview, I was told I would start 'tomorrow'. The following day, I was up and about, ready for the go-ahead call. It didn't come. Three weeks later, another interview to be told that they would be going ahead. A week later... acknowledgement that I was 'too good' for the role and that I would be suitable for another project which they think is starting in November.
So in the last 5 weeks, I've been messed around, lied to, manipulated and am now so frustrated that I am getting down about it. I am constantly shocked by the lack of ethics in the arena as it seems companies 'go fishing' to see who is around... when no job exists. The ethical framework of many recruitment companies is, well, non-existent.
It has been a very difficult period for me, personally, and as the other half of a marriage. I place high importance on my career and my ability to contribute to our financial life and to the broader community. I haven't been able to do that so I am feeling pretty useless.
I have been keeping myself busy but it has been a challenge and I find myself searching for things to do. There is only so much cooking and cleaning I can do before I get a bit loopy!
This week, I am waiting on three calls about possible work. Unfortunately, many roles are out of my league because I am over-qualified for them. More senior roles take a long time to recruit for, for example, one call I am waiting on is following an application over 4 weeks ago. In that time, I've also had a 'casual telephone conversation' and submitted a written proposal (in addition to a coverletter and CV).
I'm rambling, I know. I apologise! I just wanted to let you all know that I am still here but had not been blogging due to other complexities happening in my life. I am hoping that the quote is true and, like steel, I will become stronger due to this process. I am certainly developing a more cynical view of the recruitment sector and will be less likely to trust people I don't know in the future. This is really rather sad, but necessary, in my view.
You might want to check out my other blog, Always Keep Yourself Nice, which is in response to numerous calls to help people sort out the minefield of modern etiquette. Feel free to ask questions or suggest topics for discussion.
Until next time...
Thursday, March 31, 2011
The Fashion Challenge
Renate Singer, one of the cofounders of Fitted For Work is dressing up as famous people for the Fashion Challenge. She dressed up as Dame Edna Everage this week and was featured in The Age. She's a brave and passionate woman - I admire her strength and focus to get things done.
On my front, I've worked out that I have not planned my challenge well and with the coming Melbourne winter have left myself short of some clothing essentials. Basically, I may find myself being cold if I don't do something about it. So I made the choice to buy some second hand clothes at the FFW clothing sale on the weekend. With a couple of jackets and a nice new top, I'll be sorted for the coming winter. I did manage to find a fabulous hot pink Anthea Crawford jacket which, with a black top and skirt (already in my wardrobe) looks fabulous and made me feel like a lawyer (think Diane Lockhart from The Good Wife). I wore the ensemble yesterday and feeling fabulous helped me get through a challenging day at work.
Not having enough clothes for work has made me realise that many women face this issue and, unlike my case, don't have the funds or the access to great clothes. My sense of style comes directly from my mother who always looks amazing - even when times are tight or a crisis is happening. Her motto of 'always look your best' doesn't mean you have to wear designer gear, it means being tidy and coordinated and always having a bit of lippy on. I've realised again this week that I am so fortunate and have a definite responsibility to pay it forward.
Off to a business women's lunch - with a lecture on intellectual property law - today. I'm looking into IP issues at the moment at work, so am keen to hear what the lawyer has to say.
Until next time...
On my front, I've worked out that I have not planned my challenge well and with the coming Melbourne winter have left myself short of some clothing essentials. Basically, I may find myself being cold if I don't do something about it. So I made the choice to buy some second hand clothes at the FFW clothing sale on the weekend. With a couple of jackets and a nice new top, I'll be sorted for the coming winter. I did manage to find a fabulous hot pink Anthea Crawford jacket which, with a black top and skirt (already in my wardrobe) looks fabulous and made me feel like a lawyer (think Diane Lockhart from The Good Wife). I wore the ensemble yesterday and feeling fabulous helped me get through a challenging day at work.
Not having enough clothes for work has made me realise that many women face this issue and, unlike my case, don't have the funds or the access to great clothes. My sense of style comes directly from my mother who always looks amazing - even when times are tight or a crisis is happening. Her motto of 'always look your best' doesn't mean you have to wear designer gear, it means being tidy and coordinated and always having a bit of lippy on. I've realised again this week that I am so fortunate and have a definite responsibility to pay it forward.
Off to a business women's lunch - with a lecture on intellectual property law - today. I'm looking into IP issues at the moment at work, so am keen to hear what the lawyer has to say.
Until next time...
Monday, March 21, 2011
RIP Mohammed Nabbous
Last Friday night, I was driving home from work, listening to my beloved Radio National. A young journalist named Mohammed Nabbous was being interviewed from Benghazi in Libya. He was brave and engaged and passionate about the freedom he and his countrypeople wanted. I was inspired by his strength and admired his belief in freedom and democracy - something which (at times) I take for granted. The interviewer asked him whether he was scared as if was known that Gaddafi's troups were closing in on Benghazi. His answer 'there are 300,000 of us, he can't kill us all'.
As I approached Melbourne, there were three army helicopters circling over the city. They were so low that I could see the men inside the open doors. Instead of being scared, I marvelled at the technology and wondered what they were doing? It occured to me that if I was a woman in Libya, right then, I would be petrified for my life.
Over the weekend, at a beautiful wedding full of love and joy, I thought of Mohammed Nabbous, his family, his wife - who is expecting their first child, their fellow countrypeople and wondered how this would all turn out? I sent them love and peace and prayers - in that mad way that only a confused aethiest can.
This evening, Radio National announced that Mohammed had been shot by a sniper yesterday and was dead. He was 28 years old. His baby is due in a few weeks and his wife is left, in Benghazi - fearing for her life and the future of her child. She is continuing his work - asking for people to keep filming and getting the story of what is happening to the Libyan people out into the world.
I am crying as I write this as I can't get this young family out of my mind. I don't know this woman, Perditta, but I wish I did. I wish I could bring her and her family to our home and make them tea. Give them a safe and warm place to sleep. A hospital she could have her baby in - with dignity and proper medical support. A place to grieve her lost love and then the support to get on her feet and help her broken country up.
I send her love. Peace. And the message that I, too, am grieving for the loss of her husband. Rest In Peace, Mohammed Nabbous.
As I approached Melbourne, there were three army helicopters circling over the city. They were so low that I could see the men inside the open doors. Instead of being scared, I marvelled at the technology and wondered what they were doing? It occured to me that if I was a woman in Libya, right then, I would be petrified for my life.
Over the weekend, at a beautiful wedding full of love and joy, I thought of Mohammed Nabbous, his family, his wife - who is expecting their first child, their fellow countrypeople and wondered how this would all turn out? I sent them love and peace and prayers - in that mad way that only a confused aethiest can.
This evening, Radio National announced that Mohammed had been shot by a sniper yesterday and was dead. He was 28 years old. His baby is due in a few weeks and his wife is left, in Benghazi - fearing for her life and the future of her child. She is continuing his work - asking for people to keep filming and getting the story of what is happening to the Libyan people out into the world.
I am crying as I write this as I can't get this young family out of my mind. I don't know this woman, Perditta, but I wish I did. I wish I could bring her and her family to our home and make them tea. Give them a safe and warm place to sleep. A hospital she could have her baby in - with dignity and proper medical support. A place to grieve her lost love and then the support to get on her feet and help her broken country up.
I send her love. Peace. And the message that I, too, am grieving for the loss of her husband. Rest In Peace, Mohammed Nabbous.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
More about the Fashion Challenge
Thank you to everyone who came to the Fashion Challenge Launch in Melbourne on 7 March. It was a wonderful event - although I am sorry I didn't get to chat to anyone.
FFW continues to work towards raising funds during March through the Fashion Challenge. This is a big event for us so I have committed to spreading the word.
Should you wish to hold a Fashion Challenge event in your workplace, home ... park... whatever, FFW have supplied the following 'helpful hints' to get you started:
FFW continues to work towards raising funds during March through the Fashion Challenge. This is a big event for us so I have committed to spreading the word.
Should you wish to hold a Fashion Challenge event in your workplace, home ... park... whatever, FFW have supplied the following 'helpful hints' to get you started:
- Decide on your team Fashion Challenge with your co-workers, family and friends... wear stripes with spots, wear an outrageous hat or stockings (or crazy ties or socks for men), wear orange, red or black from head to toe for a day - whatever it takes to have FUN and get people asking what you're up to!
- Register your team at www.fashionchallenge.org (click on Start Fundraising to go to the Gofundraise website and click on 'sign up now' next to the green 'login' button)
- Once you've registered your team, send the link to your Team Fashion Challenge page to the team so they can spread the word...
If they don't know about Fitted for Work and how we make a difference to disadvantaged women, send them Angela's story http://www.evotest.net/sales/SecondLives_FFWMaster.html - Read the Top Ten Tips for fundraising attached for more ideas and send it on to your team challengers...ask the boss to match what your team raises, post it on your facebook page, twitter it...
- Host a morning tea, lunch or after work drinks on 1 April and have a fashion parade. Give prizes for the most funds raised by a team member and the best dressed! Whatever you do, make it FUN....
The team at Fitted for Work are here to help! As am I... as always. I have a couple of fabulous invitations and posters for FFW, so if you would like them, please just let me know & I'll email.
It is 11:22pm as I write this ... and I'm so tired, I can't even motivate myself to walk into the bedroom to go to bed. I am beyond exhausted just at the moment. I have so much I would like to blog about... but we're all going to have to wait until tomorrow.
In the meantime, stay well & keep the people of Japan in your thoughts, prayers, musings and meditations.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Flexibility
I spoke at a conference today on behalf of Fitted For Work. It went well & I got lots of interest - which is always fabulous for FFW.
The conference was on 'family friendly workplaces' and when I arrived the 200+ participants were listening to a panel discuss flexible work arrangments. It seemed to focus on women who had children, which is interesting in itself, but then a participant said that with small children she had a 'right' to flexibility and she was offended by people who didn't have family responsibilities having a flexible arrangement at work.
I must admit, this statement made me MAD!! I've previously been in a workplace where I was told that only women with families got to have flexible days and that their holiday requests would always be approved before the rest of us. Regardless of the fact that this leaves out men, people with older family members who they care for and gay couples with kids, I would argue that it flies in the face (and the spirit) of anti-discrimination law.
So... I've been thinking about flexibility and work and what it means for me. Due to the fact that the drive to work is over 75 minutes (one day) for me, my boss allows me to work at home 2 days a week - usually Wednesdays and Thursdays. Clearly this arrangement is based on trust and a knowledge that I will do what I say I will do. It is also possible due to having a computer and internet accessibility at home + my trusty BlackBerry.
I struggled with the isolation at first but now I love it! I am preparing a major submission at the moment so having quiet time to research and write means I get heaps more done than I would if I was in a noisy office. It also means I work different hours - working into the night regularly so that I can do other things in the morning (such as appear at conferences).
I think that having flexibility in the workforce is essential - regardless of whether someone has children, or not. Although I've chosen not to have children, I do a great deal of community/volunteer work which I would not be able to do if I didn't have some flexibility at work. This allows me to actively participate in the community, bring a set of skills to organisations that they may not otherwise be able to afford plus build my own skills and networks. I wonder whether the whingy woman - who clearly was the first woman in the world to work and have babies - has ever done any community work?
In other news, the Fitted For Work Fashion Challenge launch was fabulous last night! Over 100 women (and 1 man) attended and it was a great success. Although I am not shopping for the entirity of 2011, if you would like to donate to the Fashion Challenge, please do so before the end of March as I understand the website will go away. We are doing well with the challenge, although my contribution is ... well, not great. I'm working on it!
The conference was on 'family friendly workplaces' and when I arrived the 200+ participants were listening to a panel discuss flexible work arrangments. It seemed to focus on women who had children, which is interesting in itself, but then a participant said that with small children she had a 'right' to flexibility and she was offended by people who didn't have family responsibilities having a flexible arrangement at work.
I must admit, this statement made me MAD!! I've previously been in a workplace where I was told that only women with families got to have flexible days and that their holiday requests would always be approved before the rest of us. Regardless of the fact that this leaves out men, people with older family members who they care for and gay couples with kids, I would argue that it flies in the face (and the spirit) of anti-discrimination law.
So... I've been thinking about flexibility and work and what it means for me. Due to the fact that the drive to work is over 75 minutes (one day) for me, my boss allows me to work at home 2 days a week - usually Wednesdays and Thursdays. Clearly this arrangement is based on trust and a knowledge that I will do what I say I will do. It is also possible due to having a computer and internet accessibility at home + my trusty BlackBerry.
I struggled with the isolation at first but now I love it! I am preparing a major submission at the moment so having quiet time to research and write means I get heaps more done than I would if I was in a noisy office. It also means I work different hours - working into the night regularly so that I can do other things in the morning (such as appear at conferences).
I think that having flexibility in the workforce is essential - regardless of whether someone has children, or not. Although I've chosen not to have children, I do a great deal of community/volunteer work which I would not be able to do if I didn't have some flexibility at work. This allows me to actively participate in the community, bring a set of skills to organisations that they may not otherwise be able to afford plus build my own skills and networks. I wonder whether the whingy woman - who clearly was the first woman in the world to work and have babies - has ever done any community work?
In other news, the Fitted For Work Fashion Challenge launch was fabulous last night! Over 100 women (and 1 man) attended and it was a great success. Although I am not shopping for the entirity of 2011, if you would like to donate to the Fashion Challenge, please do so before the end of March as I understand the website will go away. We are doing well with the challenge, although my contribution is ... well, not great. I'm working on it!
Interesting article
Her Excellency, Quentin Bryce has called for quotas for women on boards. As you know, I am heavily influenced by Ms Bryce and am a HUGE fan! Just wanted to share. x
Complexities
Last night, our friend came to stay. She introduced The Bear and I and has a special place in our family. She is brave and smart and adventurous and inspirational.
Talking over a chilli and mint lamb (yes, I'm cooking now!!), the three of us explored issues of career, working, boards etc and both Our Friend and The Bear said that they didn't like having a lot of complexity in their lives. I do.
I've been thinking about it today. Our conversation got me thinking about 'busy-ness' and filling up time with 'stuff'. This Restorative Year is supposed to be about cleaning out - physically, spiritually, karmically... and yet I'm busier than I've ever been... who would have thought that possible? Between full-time work, a double masters, sitting on four committees and the occassional piece of freelance work, this has all become a bit mad.
What I've realised today is that there are a number of 'gaps' in my life. Usually I fill them with an endless search for the perfect handbag or lipstick that stays on. However, in the Year of No Shopping, I'm left with the gaps. I've realised that I've been filling them with being busy.
IT'S NOT WORKING!!! I'm so tired I can't think straight. I'm not doing anything well and am certainly not enjoying anything. There must be a better way to do this? I do like being busy, I love having lots of things happening... but what I am doing is silly because I don't have any time to stop and smell the organic, fair-trade coffee. I don't do anything for 'me'. Why not?
Talking over a chilli and mint lamb (yes, I'm cooking now!!), the three of us explored issues of career, working, boards etc and both Our Friend and The Bear said that they didn't like having a lot of complexity in their lives. I do.
I've been thinking about it today. Our conversation got me thinking about 'busy-ness' and filling up time with 'stuff'. This Restorative Year is supposed to be about cleaning out - physically, spiritually, karmically... and yet I'm busier than I've ever been... who would have thought that possible? Between full-time work, a double masters, sitting on four committees and the occassional piece of freelance work, this has all become a bit mad.
What I've realised today is that there are a number of 'gaps' in my life. Usually I fill them with an endless search for the perfect handbag or lipstick that stays on. However, in the Year of No Shopping, I'm left with the gaps. I've realised that I've been filling them with being busy.
IT'S NOT WORKING!!! I'm so tired I can't think straight. I'm not doing anything well and am certainly not enjoying anything. There must be a better way to do this? I do like being busy, I love having lots of things happening... but what I am doing is silly because I don't have any time to stop and smell the organic, fair-trade coffee. I don't do anything for 'me'. Why not?
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Australia's Most Inspiring Woman
In the build up to International Women's Day on 8 March, The Melbourne Age is asking for comment on who is Australia's most inspiring woman?
In the early 90s I was a bored secretary and, being in a very unhappy relationship, was wondering what I should do next? I've never been good at sitting still so I was keen to work out what I should do... but how? And then I met Quentin Bryce! At the time, she was heading up a review of child care provision in Australia. She was (and is) elegant, intelligent, straight forward, chic and, at all times, focussed.
She didn't have an assistant, so I would, on occassion, do administration work. She encouraged me to go to university and suggested that I go to Deakin University to study with Dr Renate Klein - which I duly did.
It is because of Her Excellency that I developed my deep love of university, challenged my views and practice of 'feminism', left an awful relationship and feel in love with Melbourne. She is one of Australia's most inspiring women.
The other most inspiring woman is my Mum. I know that sounds cliched and maybe it is, but I don't care! Mum is also elegant, focussed, intelligent and chic. She had a long and inspiring career as a school teacher and taught hundreds of children to read, think, question and love. I have had the good fortune to meet many of them as adults and they remain big fans.
Even in the last few years, as times have been tough, she has remained hopeful and stoic. She loves my Dad with passion and enduring friendship and now, as a grandmother, is repeating the love, songs, stories and silliness from our childhoods.
Importantly, Mum taught me to be loving, independent, question faith and knowledge, be educated, read everything, always have matching handbags, the great value of lipstick to make you feel better and to always think of others. She continues to inspire me on a daily basis.
In the early 90s I was a bored secretary and, being in a very unhappy relationship, was wondering what I should do next? I've never been good at sitting still so I was keen to work out what I should do... but how? And then I met Quentin Bryce! At the time, she was heading up a review of child care provision in Australia. She was (and is) elegant, intelligent, straight forward, chic and, at all times, focussed.
She didn't have an assistant, so I would, on occassion, do administration work. She encouraged me to go to university and suggested that I go to Deakin University to study with Dr Renate Klein - which I duly did.
It is because of Her Excellency that I developed my deep love of university, challenged my views and practice of 'feminism', left an awful relationship and feel in love with Melbourne. She is one of Australia's most inspiring women.
The other most inspiring woman is my Mum. I know that sounds cliched and maybe it is, but I don't care! Mum is also elegant, focussed, intelligent and chic. She had a long and inspiring career as a school teacher and taught hundreds of children to read, think, question and love. I have had the good fortune to meet many of them as adults and they remain big fans.
Even in the last few years, as times have been tough, she has remained hopeful and stoic. She loves my Dad with passion and enduring friendship and now, as a grandmother, is repeating the love, songs, stories and silliness from our childhoods.
Importantly, Mum taught me to be loving, independent, question faith and knowledge, be educated, read everything, always have matching handbags, the great value of lipstick to make you feel better and to always think of others. She continues to inspire me on a daily basis.
Friday, February 25, 2011
The Dawn Conspiracy... at dawn
What a crazy week it has been! I have been working like the proverbial Trojan (were there any women in that army?) and feel as though I haven't had a minute to reflect.
It is early Saturday morning and I'm up and dresssed - about to go to Weight Watchers... which I have recently joined in an attempt to, once and for all, lose weight! More about that later...
8 March is International Women's Day and this year, it is the centenary of the event. I've always been a huge fan of IWD - the marches, the breakfasts, the moment in time to spend a whole day thinking about what it is to be a woman. I will be attending many events, but want to tell you of a couple over the next few days.
The Dawn Conspiracy is a feminist project that brings 'together performers, writers, poets, musicians, comedians and other thinkers, taking the pulse of feminist culture in our city and finding it in fine form.' I was approached to make a short video about what it meant for me to be a feminist. It is a long time since I have used that term to describe myself. Mea culpa! With the help of two gorgeous young feminists who understand such technology, I have recorded a piece and will make it available here when I can. Lets just say that Dame Judy Dench is in no danger of an competition for movie roles!
The Dawn Conspiracy is holding three events this week (two of which I will be attending):
I am so looking forward to the Variety Night and Women as Heroes events - another opportunity to listen, watch and learn as a generation of smart, sexy, powerful women move up in the world.
It is early Saturday morning and I'm up and dresssed - about to go to Weight Watchers... which I have recently joined in an attempt to, once and for all, lose weight! More about that later...
8 March is International Women's Day and this year, it is the centenary of the event. I've always been a huge fan of IWD - the marches, the breakfasts, the moment in time to spend a whole day thinking about what it is to be a woman. I will be attending many events, but want to tell you of a couple over the next few days.
The Dawn Conspiracy is a feminist project that brings 'together performers, writers, poets, musicians, comedians and other thinkers, taking the pulse of feminist culture in our city and finding it in fine form.' I was approached to make a short video about what it meant for me to be a feminist. It is a long time since I have used that term to describe myself. Mea culpa! With the help of two gorgeous young feminists who understand such technology, I have recorded a piece and will make it available here when I can. Lets just say that Dame Judy Dench is in no danger of an competition for movie roles!
The Dawn Conspiracy is holding three events this week (two of which I will be attending):
- CherChez La Femme: Feminism and the Brand Featuring Monica Dux, Chrissie Feagins and Alicia Sometimes, and hosted by Karen Pickering, Cherchez la Femme is a monthly digest of pop culture and current affairs from a feminist perspective. This will be the first show back in 2011 and the opening night of The Dawn Conspiracy.
Thursday 3 March, Fox Hotel, 351 Wellington St Collingwood 7-9pm
- The Dawn Conspiracy Variety Night Hosted by Clem Bastow and featuring Helen Razer, Linda Beatty (The UnEnchanted Princess), Susan Carland (Salam Café), Emilie Zoey Baker and a host of other entertainers in a celebration of feminist thought. This revolution’s telethon will not be televised. Tickets are $15/$10 and all proceeds go to WIRE and the Asylum Seeker Resource Centre.
Friday 4 March, Queen Victoria Women’s Centre, Victoria Room, 8-11pm
- HERo: Women as Heroes Hosted by Lyndal Walker.
Saturday 5 March, Grace Darling Hotel, Smith St Collingwood, 2-12pm
I am so looking forward to the Variety Night and Women as Heroes events - another opportunity to listen, watch and learn as a generation of smart, sexy, powerful women move up in the world.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Launch of the Fitted For Work Fashion Challenge (Melbourne0
Join us for drinks and canapés on the eve of International Women’s Day and celebrate the launch of the Fitted for Work Fashion Challenge with co-founder Marion Webster and CEO Jane Hunt.
When: Monday 7 March at 6pm to 8pm (registration from 5.30pm)
Where: Level 2, 201 Spring Street, Melbourne CBD
Bookings: $30 per ticket. Book online at www.trybooking.com/LYK or phone Fitted for Work to book on (03) 9620 5533. If you are unable to attend and would like to make a donation, go to http://www.fashionchallenge.org/.
Suzanne Dekyvere - An Air of Distinction
Discover how to turn the LBD (Little Black Dress) into seven incredible outfits suitable for a day at work to a black-tie dinner just by changing your accessories. Suzanne Dekyvere of An Air of Distinction will demonstrate just how to do it on real live models.
Fitted For Work is launching our Fashion Challenge in Melbourne on 7 March 2011 at 6:00pm. Bookings can be made here.
I will be there and would love to see you! Please let me know if you'd like an invitation emailed to you (PDF) so that you can pass it on.
x
When: Monday 7 March at 6pm to 8pm (registration from 5.30pm)
Where: Level 2, 201 Spring Street, Melbourne CBD
Bookings: $30 per ticket. Book online at www.trybooking.com/LYK or phone Fitted for Work to book on (03) 9620 5533. If you are unable to attend and would like to make a donation, go to http://www.fashionchallenge.org/.
Suzanne Dekyvere - An Air of Distinction
Discover how to turn the LBD (Little Black Dress) into seven incredible outfits suitable for a day at work to a black-tie dinner just by changing your accessories. Suzanne Dekyvere of An Air of Distinction will demonstrate just how to do it on real live models.
Fitted For Work is launching our Fashion Challenge in Melbourne on 7 March 2011 at 6:00pm. Bookings can be made here.
I will be there and would love to see you! Please let me know if you'd like an invitation emailed to you (PDF) so that you can pass it on.
x
Clothing sale... Fitted For Work
This is a very quick blog as I'm struggling to finish a report and it is already 10:18pm! Where did Sunday go?
Fitted for Work is having our first clothing sale for 2011. How can you resist? We'll have some lovely Autumn treats for your wardrobe. (Unfortunately, I will have to resist - but I thoroughly encourage others to attend). Dates are:
Saturday 26th March 2011
9.30am-3.30pm
Sunday 27th March 2011
11am-2.00pm
It’s at our warehouse in Northcote:
Fredrick Street, Northcote. Behind Dear Gladys 296 High Street, Northcote
(Here is a link to a google map to help you and your sale loving friends/family find us.
MOST ITEMS UNDER $20.
Please bring cash, as we have no eftpos facilities.
All proceeds go to Fitted for Work.
This is not a secret, anyone in need of a spruce up to their wardrobe is welcome to come buy the fabulous clothes, please forward this on to family/friends or anyone you think might want to come buy a bargain.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
What on Earth was I thinking?
It all sounded like a good idea - a year without shopping. A year to think about myself without all the distractions of handbags, David Jones and Chanel lippie. A year to get rid of clutter... to reorganise my wardrobe (which I secretly hope will morph into Carrie's fabulous wardrobe with the shoe shelves). A year to lose weight and reappear - like a butterfly out of a crystalis - reformed and thin!
It seems, however, that I did not do my research properly. I should have bought British or American Vogue and then I would have known that leopard print is the biggest thing this year!
I had to go to Southland today to pick up something from Medicare (what a delight that is!). I had to park near Myers and walk through the handbag / accessories / Country Road / Chanel section. And there it all was... leopard print for as far as my fluttering eyes could see. Even the most wonderful pair of sling back, kitten heeled leopard print shoes.
I felt like an addict. I couldn't help myself but wonder 'what if'?
But... you'll be happy to know that I resisted as I am the most stubborn person I know (well, a close second to my lovely husband - who has just bought me a cup of camomile tea) and I am determined to make it to 31 December 2011 without shopping for clothes et al.
I am in Week 6... and I am noticing changes in myself... and that is what this whole process is about.
It seems, however, that I did not do my research properly. I should have bought British or American Vogue and then I would have known that leopard print is the biggest thing this year!
I had to go to Southland today to pick up something from Medicare (what a delight that is!). I had to park near Myers and walk through the handbag / accessories / Country Road / Chanel section. And there it all was... leopard print for as far as my fluttering eyes could see. Even the most wonderful pair of sling back, kitten heeled leopard print shoes.
I felt like an addict. I couldn't help myself but wonder 'what if'?
But... you'll be happy to know that I resisted as I am the most stubborn person I know (well, a close second to my lovely husband - who has just bought me a cup of camomile tea) and I am determined to make it to 31 December 2011 without shopping for clothes et al.
I am in Week 6... and I am noticing changes in myself... and that is what this whole process is about.
Monday, February 7, 2011
The Killer Heel
I have a particular pair of shoes in my wardrobe. They are Chanel-esque - cream patent leather with a black toe and heel. They are - quite simply - gorgeous and I love them! However... I can't walk in them.
Following a broken leg in 2008, my ankle struggles in 'killer heels' and at 185cm (that's 6'1" for those using imperial), I don't really 'need' the heels. But I love them. They are elegant and chic. They look as though they should be on the end of my long legs, crossed at a table at The Windsor, while drinking champagne with girlfriends. They go perfectly with cream suits for important interviews or cashmere cardigans and pencil skirts - worn to a friend's (unexpected) baby shower.
I have struggled for years about being so much taller than everyone else when wearing heels. In many cases, I am the tallest in the room in my stockinged feet... but add a pair of tres chic cream patent pumps and I'm unmissable.
I have them sitting in the middle of the floor at the moment. Do I - in this year of rethinking my 'stuff' - recycle them to a good cause? Or do I return them to my side of the wardrobe where they remain - unworn but very much loved? Is this about 'stuff' or is it about being 'unmissable'?
Following a broken leg in 2008, my ankle struggles in 'killer heels' and at 185cm (that's 6'1" for those using imperial), I don't really 'need' the heels. But I love them. They are elegant and chic. They look as though they should be on the end of my long legs, crossed at a table at The Windsor, while drinking champagne with girlfriends. They go perfectly with cream suits for important interviews or cashmere cardigans and pencil skirts - worn to a friend's (unexpected) baby shower.
I have struggled for years about being so much taller than everyone else when wearing heels. In many cases, I am the tallest in the room in my stockinged feet... but add a pair of tres chic cream patent pumps and I'm unmissable.
I have them sitting in the middle of the floor at the moment. Do I - in this year of rethinking my 'stuff' - recycle them to a good cause? Or do I return them to my side of the wardrobe where they remain - unworn but very much loved? Is this about 'stuff' or is it about being 'unmissable'?
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Update - Fitted For Work
The total amount raised by the Fitted For Work 'Fashion Challenge' so far is $2,258. The amount FFW can do with that money is phenomenal... so let's keep going!
Thank you to those people who have donated - your money will make a positive and long lasting impact on women's lives.
Thank you to those people who have donated - your money will make a positive and long lasting impact on women's lives.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
The year of leopard print
I'm not into 'conspiracy theories'. Having worked for the government for a significant percentage of my career, I'm not convinced Western governments could maintain the level of secrecy needed to destroy buildings, kill people or hid aliens.
I am, however, wondering about 2011? As you probably know, I'm a great lover of leopard print. If I can purchase something in leopard print - whether it be clothing, shoes, handbags, pashminas... whatever... I'm keen. It isn't always easy to buy as it seems to go in and out of fashion.
However, it seems that 2011 is the year of leopard print - which makes my Year of No Shopping even harder again. Flicking through a magazine yesterday, there were scarves, handbags, tops, pants... all gorgeous and all desirable.
Conspiracy? No... but certainly a trying moment.
I am, however, wondering about 2011? As you probably know, I'm a great lover of leopard print. If I can purchase something in leopard print - whether it be clothing, shoes, handbags, pashminas... whatever... I'm keen. It isn't always easy to buy as it seems to go in and out of fashion.
However, it seems that 2011 is the year of leopard print - which makes my Year of No Shopping even harder again. Flicking through a magazine yesterday, there were scarves, handbags, tops, pants... all gorgeous and all desirable.
Conspiracy? No... but certainly a trying moment.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
A new look at BlackBerry
This 'One Ronnie' skit on BlackBerrys is hysterical! Well worth the time to watch... and share!
Clinging onto the side of the wagon...
After 20-something years, a very close friend from high school got in touch and tonight we had dinner. What a delight it was to spend time with her and her mother and hear all about their lives, successes, family... and to giggle and share memories from our crazy teenage years. She is now an importer of lovely goods from Peru - lots of beautiful alpaca knitwear.
We met at a trade fair being held in Melbourne. We went for a walk around the fair - past beautiful handbags, elegant jewellry, leather goods. I have to say, it was so hard to stay 'on the wagon' and resist the lure of a gorgeous patent leather handbag that would be perfect for my law books this semester. I found myself trying to reason as to why I needed it & that it wouldn't really be shopping.
Clearly, I'm addicted to 'stuff'. I don't need a new handbag - there are a number of lovely ones in my wardrobe. I don't need something for my books as I have a wheelie bag + a car that lugs me to and from work. I don't need more stuff... this was just a reaction to the fact that I'm struggling with PMS and I'm detoxing after 4 weeks of no shopping. It was hard - particularly as I didn't tell my friend about my commitment for this year.
I've been listening to the audiobook The Power by Rhonda Byrne (which I purchased from the iTunes store ages ago). It is an interesting book. While it doesn't say anything I haven't heard before, the focus on the idea of 'love' fits with my thinking about love and what I need. Byrne talks about finding passion and thinking about what you'd like to achieve. Talking to my friend tonight over a great Indian dinner, I realised that I had lost all the passion of my youth and was struggling to come up with the big ideas and dreams that used to come naturally to me.
That, I feel, is the next step in my path. February will be devoted to rediscovering my passion and dreams.
On the news front, I am very pleased to report that both Pan and Chai are home and are doing well. After a few days in hospital, they are both home and, although a little balder and battle scared, seem to have recovered from their ordeal. They are cranky that they are no longer allowed outside, but they are recovering and it is a delight to have them back in our lives. Thank you for all your good thoughts & wishes -they are very much appreciated!
We met at a trade fair being held in Melbourne. We went for a walk around the fair - past beautiful handbags, elegant jewellry, leather goods. I have to say, it was so hard to stay 'on the wagon' and resist the lure of a gorgeous patent leather handbag that would be perfect for my law books this semester. I found myself trying to reason as to why I needed it & that it wouldn't really be shopping.
Clearly, I'm addicted to 'stuff'. I don't need a new handbag - there are a number of lovely ones in my wardrobe. I don't need something for my books as I have a wheelie bag + a car that lugs me to and from work. I don't need more stuff... this was just a reaction to the fact that I'm struggling with PMS and I'm detoxing after 4 weeks of no shopping. It was hard - particularly as I didn't tell my friend about my commitment for this year.
I've been listening to the audiobook The Power by Rhonda Byrne (which I purchased from the iTunes store ages ago). It is an interesting book. While it doesn't say anything I haven't heard before, the focus on the idea of 'love' fits with my thinking about love and what I need. Byrne talks about finding passion and thinking about what you'd like to achieve. Talking to my friend tonight over a great Indian dinner, I realised that I had lost all the passion of my youth and was struggling to come up with the big ideas and dreams that used to come naturally to me.
That, I feel, is the next step in my path. February will be devoted to rediscovering my passion and dreams.
On the news front, I am very pleased to report that both Pan and Chai are home and are doing well. After a few days in hospital, they are both home and, although a little balder and battle scared, seem to have recovered from their ordeal. They are cranky that they are no longer allowed outside, but they are recovering and it is a delight to have them back in our lives. Thank you for all your good thoughts & wishes -they are very much appreciated!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!!
Thank you so much to the people who have already donated to my No Shopping For a Year / Fitted for Work campaign. In less than 3 days, we have $150!! I'm so grateful & know that this money will go towards working with women and changing lives.
Also, you'll be pleased to know that our babies are on the mend. Still in the emergency hospital ward, they are both on drips but are doing well. We spent time with them tonight. Pan is irritated at the drip and bandage (which is a lovely feminist purple), but happy for a long rub and scratch. Chai has a towel over the cage as he likes to hide - but he's ok. With a blue bandage, he's a bit confused about the drip but was very happy to lay down for a long tummy rub. The house is very empty without them but they are in wonderful care & we will have them home soon. I am so grateful to the hospital staff - their love and care of the animals is so special. They are inspiring!
Also, you'll be pleased to know that our babies are on the mend. Still in the emergency hospital ward, they are both on drips but are doing well. We spent time with them tonight. Pan is irritated at the drip and bandage (which is a lovely feminist purple), but happy for a long rub and scratch. Chai has a towel over the cage as he likes to hide - but he's ok. With a blue bandage, he's a bit confused about the drip but was very happy to lay down for a long tummy rub. The house is very empty without them but they are in wonderful care & we will have them home soon. I am so grateful to the hospital staff - their love and care of the animals is so special. They are inspiring!
Monday, January 24, 2011
Crazy cat house!
Chai and Pan are the loves of our lives! They are our two 'sons' - two rescue kittens who came into our lives just over two years ago. They constantly make us laugh, give us unconditional love and melt our hearts with their purring and fascination for dried fish.
In November 2010, we almost lost Pan to a snake bite. The Bear found him as he was undergoing paralysis and we rushed him to the Animal Accident and Emergency Hospital who were amazing and had him back on four legs in no time. Since then, we've kept them inside during the day, only letting them out in the evenings for a few hours. This is a shot taken from the bathroom - they love sitting in this window as they have a view of the field next door and the street - they can see (and hear) when 'Daddy' is coming on his motorbike.
Today, we let them out around 7:30pm. It had been a cool day in Melbourne and we thought they would be safe. Around an hour later, The Bear looked over the balcony (he has an uncanny knack of knowing when to look) only to find them sitting with a brown snake! The Bear held the snake down with a broom and I grabbed both cats - who were most put out about having their play thing taken from them!
Although they both seemed 'ok', they are now at the vet hospital - in their capable care. We are a little stressed as it was frightening, plus the financial cost is very high (no Medicare for pets, it seems). In saying that though, the Universe also has an uncanny way of working things out & I know that it will all work out. I have faith (although I admit that I'm scared) that things will work out & we (all four of us) will be ok. It really is a case of getting through with 'love' and letting the rest work itself out.
In November 2010, we almost lost Pan to a snake bite. The Bear found him as he was undergoing paralysis and we rushed him to the Animal Accident and Emergency Hospital who were amazing and had him back on four legs in no time. Since then, we've kept them inside during the day, only letting them out in the evenings for a few hours. This is a shot taken from the bathroom - they love sitting in this window as they have a view of the field next door and the street - they can see (and hear) when 'Daddy' is coming on his motorbike.
Today, we let them out around 7:30pm. It had been a cool day in Melbourne and we thought they would be safe. Around an hour later, The Bear looked over the balcony (he has an uncanny knack of knowing when to look) only to find them sitting with a brown snake! The Bear held the snake down with a broom and I grabbed both cats - who were most put out about having their play thing taken from them!
Although they both seemed 'ok', they are now at the vet hospital - in their capable care. We are a little stressed as it was frightening, plus the financial cost is very high (no Medicare for pets, it seems). In saying that though, the Universe also has an uncanny way of working things out & I know that it will all work out. I have faith (although I admit that I'm scared) that things will work out & we (all four of us) will be ok. It really is a case of getting through with 'love' and letting the rest work itself out.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Fashion Challenge
As you may know, I've recently accepted the role of Chair for the Melbourne Advisory Committee of Fitted For Work. Fitted For Work is a marvelous social enterprise that works with women to get them ready to return, or enter, the workplace. Working with refugees, women who have experienced homelessness, women coming out of jail, women escaping domestic violence... Fitted For Work works to fit them with a suitable outfit for an interview and, when they are successful, provides them with a few outfits that they can wear to work.
While a suit and cute handbag will definitely make you feel more capable and chic, Fitted For Work also helps by working with individual women to practice interview skills and develop their own style. As you can imagine, this is definitely my sort of enterprise!
In March, Fitted For Work are launching their Fashion Challenge. The idea is that people sign up to a 'fashion challenge' such as wearing the same Little Black Dress for 2 weeks and raise money for the organisation. I encourage you to think about whether this is something you're interested in and sign up to raise money.
Alternatively, you can donate to my Fashion Challenge - A Year Without Shopping. By clicking on the link and then the big green 'Donate Now' button you can help me raise $5,000 in the next 12 months... or more if we get really excited! That amount will do wonders for Fitted For Work and the women we help. I (and the organisation) will be very grateful for the donations and you will know that you're assisting women make choices for themselves - choices that only come when they're earning money and participating in the world.
I will be hosting lunches, dinners, cocktail parties and other events where I will be happy to relieve you of your hard-earned cash during 2011. Emails will follow and I encourage you to pass them onto friends, lovers, family, colleagues... complete strangers. Please let me know if you need any further information or clarification!
While a suit and cute handbag will definitely make you feel more capable and chic, Fitted For Work also helps by working with individual women to practice interview skills and develop their own style. As you can imagine, this is definitely my sort of enterprise!
In March, Fitted For Work are launching their Fashion Challenge. The idea is that people sign up to a 'fashion challenge' such as wearing the same Little Black Dress for 2 weeks and raise money for the organisation. I encourage you to think about whether this is something you're interested in and sign up to raise money.
Alternatively, you can donate to my Fashion Challenge - A Year Without Shopping. By clicking on the link and then the big green 'Donate Now' button you can help me raise $5,000 in the next 12 months... or more if we get really excited! That amount will do wonders for Fitted For Work and the women we help. I (and the organisation) will be very grateful for the donations and you will know that you're assisting women make choices for themselves - choices that only come when they're earning money and participating in the world.
I will be hosting lunches, dinners, cocktail parties and other events where I will be happy to relieve you of your hard-earned cash during 2011. Emails will follow and I encourage you to pass them onto friends, lovers, family, colleagues... complete strangers. Please let me know if you need any further information or clarification!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
'Enlightenment'... it means 'lightening up'
This was the view from our verandah on Saturday. The water you can see is the flooded river that was around four times its usual width. It has gone down now but the river bank has been stripped away. I am wondering how the wild animals are doing? There are a lot of birds around - so maybe the water has flushed the river?
I caught the end of a program with Deepak Chopra and Mike Myers discussing laugher and enlightenment. Interestingly, they said that 'enlightenment' was just that.... 'getting lighter'. Funny how something so simple can completely evade people! I had never considered the idea of 'getting lighter' being linked to spiritual learning and the process of development. I guess years of being Catholic and then years of being guilty about not being Catholic anymore have meant that I built up a whole lot of 'heaviness'... and struggled to find enlightenment.
Hmmm... working on that one!
In 2010, I stumbled upon The Divine Sisterhood and its divine creator, Ricci-Jane. Ricci-Jane is one of those people who's light is so bright and spirit so honest that she challenges my fear - just by being in the same room. I have to admit that I struggled to stay present because I found myself trying to hold onto all the 'stuff' (aka fear and loathing) that I've been building for so long. She's such a delight... and I wanted to share her blog.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Day 16... all you need is love.
Women's magazines, movies, TV shows all tell 'us' that what we really need is the new 'It Bag', the LBD, the perfect shoe (why are shoes always described in the singular?), thin thighs, expensive wrinkle cream and the newest colour lippie. So the question is... do we really?
I've been thinking a lot about resilience lately. As we watch large swathes of our beautiful country be swallowed by flood waters - destroying all in 'its' path - I've been thinking about what builds spirit, what 'love' actually means and how people pick themselves up and just keep on keeping on?
The river at the bottom of our 'garden' was flooded yesterday. At around four times its usual width, the water rushed past, taking trees and soil and, no doubt, native animals with it. While we were in no danger, it was frightening at times and I was relieved to see it back to normal this morning. Watching the water yesterday, however, I thought about what it must have been like for the mother who's baby was ripped from her arms? Even typing this, I am teary and can't get that family out of my mind. I know what it is like to lose a baby - my heart is re-breaking for that woman and her family. How do you pick yourself up after that?
While I type this, I'm listening to The Beatles 'All You Need Is Love'. I'm not a Beatles fan (in the mainstream sense) but really like this song - made popular again by the movie 'Love Actually' (one of my favourite films). If you listen to the words (and I thoroughly recommend that you do), it is clear that John Lennon et al were onto something here. 'Love' is really all you need. Whether love is found in the arms of a desired one, or complete strangers arriving with buckets to clean out your flooded house? Or whether it is found when an inspirational female Premier cracks during a press briefing and shows her vulnerability in an overwhelming situation? Or whether love is found weeding the garden with your children and hosing each other down afterward?. Or, in fact, a wonderful friend promising to keep you stocked with essential make-up items during a year of 'no shopping'. It really is... all you need! Well, its all I need... or so I am working out.
I am so unbelievably lucky. In this lifetime (and yes, I do believe in reincarnation, of sorts), I have such amazing love around me. An amazing, unbelieveable, loving husband, a family who are just 'there' even though we are so different, friends who are so solid I sometimes wonder what they are made from. Is this what makes me resilient to hurt and pain and crisis? I think it might be?
Clearly I'm just working out some of this 'stuff' and I don't have the answers. I do have an understanding, though, that its about the process... not the answer or outcome. It is the thinking, the philosophising, the musing that makes it understandable... and then, in a flash, it morphs into something else, something deeper and my understanding is brought to another level.
I've been thinking a lot about resilience lately. As we watch large swathes of our beautiful country be swallowed by flood waters - destroying all in 'its' path - I've been thinking about what builds spirit, what 'love' actually means and how people pick themselves up and just keep on keeping on?
The river at the bottom of our 'garden' was flooded yesterday. At around four times its usual width, the water rushed past, taking trees and soil and, no doubt, native animals with it. While we were in no danger, it was frightening at times and I was relieved to see it back to normal this morning. Watching the water yesterday, however, I thought about what it must have been like for the mother who's baby was ripped from her arms? Even typing this, I am teary and can't get that family out of my mind. I know what it is like to lose a baby - my heart is re-breaking for that woman and her family. How do you pick yourself up after that?
While I type this, I'm listening to The Beatles 'All You Need Is Love'. I'm not a Beatles fan (in the mainstream sense) but really like this song - made popular again by the movie 'Love Actually' (one of my favourite films). If you listen to the words (and I thoroughly recommend that you do), it is clear that John Lennon et al were onto something here. 'Love' is really all you need. Whether love is found in the arms of a desired one, or complete strangers arriving with buckets to clean out your flooded house? Or whether it is found when an inspirational female Premier cracks during a press briefing and shows her vulnerability in an overwhelming situation? Or whether love is found weeding the garden with your children and hosing each other down afterward?. Or, in fact, a wonderful friend promising to keep you stocked with essential make-up items during a year of 'no shopping'. It really is... all you need! Well, its all I need... or so I am working out.
I am so unbelievably lucky. In this lifetime (and yes, I do believe in reincarnation, of sorts), I have such amazing love around me. An amazing, unbelieveable, loving husband, a family who are just 'there' even though we are so different, friends who are so solid I sometimes wonder what they are made from. Is this what makes me resilient to hurt and pain and crisis? I think it might be?
Clearly I'm just working out some of this 'stuff' and I don't have the answers. I do have an understanding, though, that its about the process... not the answer or outcome. It is the thinking, the philosophising, the musing that makes it understandable... and then, in a flash, it morphs into something else, something deeper and my understanding is brought to another level.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Day 12
It is unusually hot and steamy here tonight. The television is full of images of the Queensland floods and the devastation that is being encountered by the people in the North. Poor Premier Anna Bligh looks exhausted - but resolvant. She is an amazing woman - I really admire her intelligence and elegant leadership style.
On Monday I was feeling flat. There are some crazy things happening in our families, work was hot as the airconditioner was broken and I was facing the policy-wonk's biggest fear: a report that is starting from a blank piece of paper. I just couldn't get myself motivated! It is interesting how quickly I slipped into thinking thoughts like... 'its ok, I'll just pop into David Jones at lunchtime'. The thoughts were quickly pushed aside due to my no-shopping commitment which forced me to really think about what shopping actually means for me.
A few years ago I had a friend who was a recovering alcoholic. We talked about it once as I had only known her while she was sober. She told me of the way she used alcohol to dull the pain and make herself feel better when she was having a hard time. I realised on Monday that 'shopping' has been like that for me. While I am able to say 'no' and not shop myself into a penniless stupor, it has been a way of dulling pain, boredom and frustration.
So... now when I'm having an awful day, am angry or bored, I am forcing myself to look at what that actually means for me - and deal with it! Seriously, I think I'm going to be a radically changed woman at the end of 2011.
Meanwhile, the GF diet is going well. I'm steadily regaining the energy I used to have. Unfortunately though, my skin has broken out and I look like a spotty teenager. It is probably just de-toxing but I do feel 16 again, with all the commensurate angst. I've found a recipe for breakfast bars at a great site called Gluten Free Goddess (definitely my sort of place) so will make some over the weekend to have in my bag at work - for when I get the munchies and can't find anything suitably GF. I'm travelling next week so will need something for between meetings etc.
So, my thoughts and prayers are with the people of Queensland. I'm not much for prayer in the traditional sense, but I'm sending good thoughts and vibes ... and, frankly, some cash to the Salvos! I think we should all do the same.
Till next time...
On Monday I was feeling flat. There are some crazy things happening in our families, work was hot as the airconditioner was broken and I was facing the policy-wonk's biggest fear: a report that is starting from a blank piece of paper. I just couldn't get myself motivated! It is interesting how quickly I slipped into thinking thoughts like... 'its ok, I'll just pop into David Jones at lunchtime'. The thoughts were quickly pushed aside due to my no-shopping commitment which forced me to really think about what shopping actually means for me.
A few years ago I had a friend who was a recovering alcoholic. We talked about it once as I had only known her while she was sober. She told me of the way she used alcohol to dull the pain and make herself feel better when she was having a hard time. I realised on Monday that 'shopping' has been like that for me. While I am able to say 'no' and not shop myself into a penniless stupor, it has been a way of dulling pain, boredom and frustration.
So... now when I'm having an awful day, am angry or bored, I am forcing myself to look at what that actually means for me - and deal with it! Seriously, I think I'm going to be a radically changed woman at the end of 2011.
Meanwhile, the GF diet is going well. I'm steadily regaining the energy I used to have. Unfortunately though, my skin has broken out and I look like a spotty teenager. It is probably just de-toxing but I do feel 16 again, with all the commensurate angst. I've found a recipe for breakfast bars at a great site called Gluten Free Goddess (definitely my sort of place) so will make some over the weekend to have in my bag at work - for when I get the munchies and can't find anything suitably GF. I'm travelling next week so will need something for between meetings etc.
So, my thoughts and prayers are with the people of Queensland. I'm not much for prayer in the traditional sense, but I'm sending good thoughts and vibes ... and, frankly, some cash to the Salvos! I think we should all do the same.
Till next time...
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Day 8
For years and years... as long as I can remember really, if I was having an awful day, I would simply 'go shopping'. Even if I had little (or no) money, I would find solace in the making of a purchase. Inevitably, I would regret the purchase, feel guilty because I didn't need it or find that I already had something like it. Little by little my 'stuff' added up - interestingly at a similar pace to the kilos.
On a parallel front, I have taken no care or interest in the food I eat. I have always claimed not to like cooking or be interested in the food I eat. I suppose the fact that I 'eat' is clear - at over 40kgs overweight, I am clearly 'eating'. I am just not enjoying or being interested in food.
It seems to me that I have shopped and eaten to cover up / hide from / avoid great pain. By dulling the pain, I've managed to avoid grief and fear. So, now that I am (a) watching what I am eating (and cooking, strangely enough) and (b) not shopping, I have nothing to dull the pain with. I found myself in tears, this afternoon, reading a book by Malcolm Turnbull about the Spycatcher Case. Needless to say, the books is fascinating and well written, but nothing that would bring someone to tears. I think that things are finding their way to the surface...
Meanwhile, tonight I cooked a curry chicken soup. Not being a talented cook, I asked The Bear if I should repeat that recipe as I wasn't sure whether he liked it. His answer - 'hell, yes' - allayed my concerns. Tomorrow I'm off to the Farmer's Markets - to connect further with the idea of healing my (our) bodies and avoiding supermarkets.
On a parallel front, I have taken no care or interest in the food I eat. I have always claimed not to like cooking or be interested in the food I eat. I suppose the fact that I 'eat' is clear - at over 40kgs overweight, I am clearly 'eating'. I am just not enjoying or being interested in food.
It seems to me that I have shopped and eaten to cover up / hide from / avoid great pain. By dulling the pain, I've managed to avoid grief and fear. So, now that I am (a) watching what I am eating (and cooking, strangely enough) and (b) not shopping, I have nothing to dull the pain with. I found myself in tears, this afternoon, reading a book by Malcolm Turnbull about the Spycatcher Case. Needless to say, the books is fascinating and well written, but nothing that would bring someone to tears. I think that things are finding their way to the surface...
Meanwhile, tonight I cooked a curry chicken soup. Not being a talented cook, I asked The Bear if I should repeat that recipe as I wasn't sure whether he liked it. His answer - 'hell, yes' - allayed my concerns. Tomorrow I'm off to the Farmer's Markets - to connect further with the idea of healing my (our) bodies and avoiding supermarkets.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Dear Gladys
I have recently become involved with a marvelous social enterprise called Fitted For Work. Through providing suitable business clothes, styling sessions and interview coaching, Fitted For Work helps women get into (or back into) the workplace. I am a BIG fan and will be advertising them shamelessly on this blog.
However, today - as I am short of time - I am letting you know that FFW's boutique, Dear Gladys, is having a January Sale.
In addition to finding some marvelous vintage deals, you will be directly assisting the work of Fitted For Work and positively helping women. What else could you ask for?
However, today - as I am short of time - I am letting you know that FFW's boutique, Dear Gladys, is having a January Sale.
In addition to finding some marvelous vintage deals, you will be directly assisting the work of Fitted For Work and positively helping women. What else could you ask for?
Sunday, January 2, 2011
1000 Awesome Things
Listening to ABC Radio National, I heard about 1,000 Awesome Things. Basically, Neil Pasricha (another lovely Canadian) blogs about awesome things that happen in his daily life. Check it out... it really is awesome!
Today's awesome thing ... is waking up with Chai (above) curled up with me - purring in his sleep. Awesome!
Generation Y!
Although I have some gorgeous friends who are members of Generation Y (you know who you are), I am constantly confused and frustrated by the images young women (in particular) seem to be comfortable with (if you're not sure what I mean, watch 'Video Hits' next Saturday morning). I will admit, at 20, I was an angry, young feminist - complete with hairy legs and Doc Marten (plus a massive crush on Billy Bragg) so it is not be appropriate to myself to the current 'young things' - I was never one of the fashionable crowd.
I do struggle, however, with the seeming lack of political awareness, understanding of power and control in relationships, images of sexuality etc. It seems, at times, that the struggles we had for equal pay and against sexual harassment and domestive violence in the 80s and 90s - plus the lessons we learned from those awful stilletos - have not been heard. Worse still, we may be going backwards!
This evening, having been sent on a pilgrimage to Coles to buy organic carrots for the spagetti Himself is making, I decided to buy some gluten-free crackers so we could enjoy cheese and dip. I couldn't make up my mind and was soon helped by two delightful young women - who were also shopping in the 'health section' (what does that say about the rest of the supermarket?). They were both in their late teens - early 20s and soon we were discussing animal rights, vegetarianism and political activism. They were clearly enlightened because they knew about The Cure...
What a delight these lovely young women are! I am feeling so much more comfortable now... and inspired by those amongst us who still have the passion and fire to be political and personal. We will be attending an art exhibition they are having in March - so more about that in due course.
So, Day 2 of the Restorative Year and I have struggled a little. Crazy-lady hormones have kicked in so I'm craving sweet things, chilli and salt - preferably together. I've eaten some passionfruit and yoghurt plus The Bear is making his famous 'spag bol' (with organic pasta). After dinner, we're off for a walk and tomorrow we'll work in the garden... so we're getting in some exercise.
While I have attempted to relax, I've worked out that I'm really bad at it. The Bear finds my boredom amusing ... as I struggle to 'do nothing'. I'm looking forward to getting back to work and (soon) back to university as I miss the challenges afforded by my career. Meanwhile, I took out my 'skinny clothes' and hung them in the wardrobe - a constant reminder of the lovely things I have waiting for me... in 10kgs or so.
I hope the early stages of your 2011 are fabulous!
I do struggle, however, with the seeming lack of political awareness, understanding of power and control in relationships, images of sexuality etc. It seems, at times, that the struggles we had for equal pay and against sexual harassment and domestive violence in the 80s and 90s - plus the lessons we learned from those awful stilletos - have not been heard. Worse still, we may be going backwards!
This evening, having been sent on a pilgrimage to Coles to buy organic carrots for the spagetti Himself is making, I decided to buy some gluten-free crackers so we could enjoy cheese and dip. I couldn't make up my mind and was soon helped by two delightful young women - who were also shopping in the 'health section' (what does that say about the rest of the supermarket?). They were both in their late teens - early 20s and soon we were discussing animal rights, vegetarianism and political activism. They were clearly enlightened because they knew about The Cure...
What a delight these lovely young women are! I am feeling so much more comfortable now... and inspired by those amongst us who still have the passion and fire to be political and personal. We will be attending an art exhibition they are having in March - so more about that in due course.
So, Day 2 of the Restorative Year and I have struggled a little. Crazy-lady hormones have kicked in so I'm craving sweet things, chilli and salt - preferably together. I've eaten some passionfruit and yoghurt plus The Bear is making his famous 'spag bol' (with organic pasta). After dinner, we're off for a walk and tomorrow we'll work in the garden... so we're getting in some exercise.
While I have attempted to relax, I've worked out that I'm really bad at it. The Bear finds my boredom amusing ... as I struggle to 'do nothing'. I'm looking forward to getting back to work and (soon) back to university as I miss the challenges afforded by my career. Meanwhile, I took out my 'skinny clothes' and hung them in the wardrobe - a constant reminder of the lovely things I have waiting for me... in 10kgs or so.
I hope the early stages of your 2011 are fabulous!
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