A few years ago, a friend shared a quote she had heard - that the strongest relationships, like steel, were forged in the hottest fires. At the time, Himself and I were going through a difficult stage so the quote meant a lot.
It has been months since I last blogged. I've been thinking about it on and off... but being quite a private person, I've found the challenge of blogging - when I'm going through some very difficult times - very, very hard. I suppose sometimes that writing things down allows one to think them through, but I still find it difficult to write this all down.
At the end of last year, I accepted a contract against my intuition. At the time, the company seemed dodgy but the project was interesting so I accepted. I was right - it was very dodgy and for the most part, it was awful. Although I wasn't bullied (like many of the staff), I was actively prevented from doing any of the work I was supposed to be doing. I was bored silly! Anyway, by the middle of May, I had finished the project six months ahead of schedule so I resigned.
I resigned, in the knowledge that I had another contract offer on the table - which I had accepted. The role was with a large national organisation and would allow me to move further into the commercial field. However, it was not to be. I am unsure as to who wasn't telling the truth - the company or the recruitment agent - but somewhere along the line, it was revealed that the job didn't exist and there was no money for contract work.
Meanwhile, I was madly applying for other roles as I need to work - both financially and emotionally. I was called for interview to step into the breach at a university - left following a resignation. After a hurried interview, I was told I would start 'tomorrow'. The following day, I was up and about, ready for the go-ahead call. It didn't come. Three weeks later, another interview to be told that they would be going ahead. A week later... acknowledgement that I was 'too good' for the role and that I would be suitable for another project which they think is starting in November.
So in the last 5 weeks, I've been messed around, lied to, manipulated and am now so frustrated that I am getting down about it. I am constantly shocked by the lack of ethics in the arena as it seems companies 'go fishing' to see who is around... when no job exists. The ethical framework of many recruitment companies is, well, non-existent.
It has been a very difficult period for me, personally, and as the other half of a marriage. I place high importance on my career and my ability to contribute to our financial life and to the broader community. I haven't been able to do that so I am feeling pretty useless.
I have been keeping myself busy but it has been a challenge and I find myself searching for things to do. There is only so much cooking and cleaning I can do before I get a bit loopy!
This week, I am waiting on three calls about possible work. Unfortunately, many roles are out of my league because I am over-qualified for them. More senior roles take a long time to recruit for, for example, one call I am waiting on is following an application over 4 weeks ago. In that time, I've also had a 'casual telephone conversation' and submitted a written proposal (in addition to a coverletter and CV).
I'm rambling, I know. I apologise! I just wanted to let you all know that I am still here but had not been blogging due to other complexities happening in my life. I am hoping that the quote is true and, like steel, I will become stronger due to this process. I am certainly developing a more cynical view of the recruitment sector and will be less likely to trust people I don't know in the future. This is really rather sad, but necessary, in my view.
You might want to check out my other blog, Always Keep Yourself Nice, which is in response to numerous calls to help people sort out the minefield of modern etiquette. Feel free to ask questions or suggest topics for discussion.
Until next time...
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