Monday, July 4, 2011

Correct link

The problem with being an etiquette buff is that I tend not to take too much notice of technology generally.  Preferring a beautiful pen and lovely stationery, I generally just 'make do' with computers and the like. 

So... I got the link wrong in my last post.  My new etiquette blog can be found here.  Apologies for the confusion!

Affectionately,

Ms S.

Steel forged in fire...

A few years ago, a friend shared a quote she had heard - that the strongest relationships, like steel, were forged in the hottest fires.  At the time, Himself and I were going through a difficult stage so the quote meant a lot. 

It has been months since I last blogged.  I've been thinking about it on and off... but being quite a private person, I've found the challenge of blogging - when I'm going through some very difficult times - very, very hard.  I suppose sometimes that writing things down allows one to think them through, but I still find it difficult to write this all down.

At the end of last year, I accepted a contract against my intuition.  At the time, the company seemed dodgy but the project was interesting so I accepted.  I was right - it was very dodgy and for the most part, it was awful.  Although I wasn't bullied (like many of the staff), I was actively prevented from doing any of the work I was supposed to be doing.  I was bored silly!  Anyway, by the middle of May, I had finished the project six months ahead of schedule so I resigned. 

I resigned, in the knowledge that I had another contract offer on the table - which I had accepted.  The role was with a large national organisation and would allow me to move further into the commercial field.  However, it was not to be.  I am unsure as to who wasn't telling the truth - the company or the recruitment agent - but somewhere along the line, it was revealed that the job didn't exist and there was no money for contract work. 

Meanwhile, I was madly applying for other roles as I need to work - both financially and emotionally.  I was called for interview to step into the breach at a university - left following a resignation.  After a hurried interview, I was told I would start 'tomorrow'.  The following day, I was up and about, ready for the go-ahead call.  It didn't come.  Three weeks later, another interview to be told that they would be going ahead.  A week later... acknowledgement that I was 'too good' for the role and that I would be suitable for another project which they think is starting in November.

So in the last 5 weeks, I've been messed around, lied to, manipulated and am now so frustrated that I am getting down about it.  I am constantly shocked by the lack of ethics in the arena as it seems companies 'go fishing' to see who is around... when no job exists.  The ethical framework of many recruitment companies is, well, non-existent.

It has been a very difficult period for me, personally, and as the other half of a marriage.  I place high importance on my career and my ability to contribute to our financial life and to the broader community.  I haven't been able to do that so I am feeling pretty useless. 

I have been keeping myself busy but it has been a challenge and I find myself searching for things to do.  There is only so much cooking and cleaning I can do before I get a bit loopy! 

This week, I am waiting on three calls about possible work.  Unfortunately, many roles are out of my league because I am over-qualified for them.  More senior roles take a long time to recruit for, for example, one call I am waiting on is following an application over 4 weeks ago.  In that time, I've also had a 'casual telephone conversation' and submitted a written proposal (in addition to a coverletter and CV). 

I'm rambling, I know.  I apologise!  I just wanted to let you all know that I am still here but had not been blogging due to other complexities happening in my life.  I am hoping that the quote is true and, like steel, I will become stronger due to this process.  I am certainly developing a more cynical view of the recruitment sector and will be less likely to trust people I don't know in the future.  This is really rather sad, but necessary, in my view.

You might want to check out my other blog, Always Keep Yourself Nice, which is in response to numerous calls to help people sort out the minefield of modern etiquette.  Feel free to ask questions or suggest topics for discussion.

Until next time...

Thursday, March 31, 2011

The Fashion Challenge

Renate Singer, one of the cofounders of Fitted For Work is dressing up as famous people for the Fashion Challenge.  She dressed up as Dame Edna Everage this week and was featured in The Age.  She's a brave and passionate woman - I admire her strength and focus to get things done.

On my front, I've worked out that I have not planned my challenge well and with the coming Melbourne winter have left myself short of some clothing essentials.  Basically, I may find myself being cold if I don't do something about it.  So I made the choice to buy some second hand clothes at the FFW clothing sale on the weekend.  With a couple of jackets and a nice new top, I'll be sorted for the coming winter.  I did manage to find a fabulous hot pink Anthea Crawford jacket which, with a black top and skirt (already in my wardrobe) looks fabulous and made me feel like a lawyer (think Diane Lockhart from The Good Wife).  I wore the ensemble yesterday and feeling fabulous helped me get through a challenging day at work.

Not having enough clothes for work has made me realise that many women face this issue and, unlike my case, don't have the funds or the access to great clothes.  My sense of style comes directly from my mother who always looks amazing - even when times are tight or a crisis is happening.  Her motto of 'always look your best' doesn't mean you have to wear designer gear, it means being tidy and coordinated and always having a bit of lippy on.  I've realised again this week that I am so fortunate and have a definite responsibility to pay it forward.

Off to a business women's lunch - with a lecture on intellectual property law - today.  I'm looking into IP issues at the moment at work, so am keen to hear what the lawyer has to say.

Until next time...

Monday, March 21, 2011

RIP Mohammed Nabbous

Last Friday night, I was driving home from work, listening to my beloved Radio National.  A young journalist named Mohammed Nabbous was being interviewed from Benghazi in Libya.  He was brave and engaged and passionate about the freedom he and his countrypeople wanted.  I was inspired by his strength and admired his belief in freedom and democracy - something which (at times) I take for granted.  The interviewer asked him whether he was scared as if was known that Gaddafi's troups were closing in on Benghazi.  His answer 'there are 300,000 of us, he can't kill us all'.

As I approached Melbourne, there were three army helicopters circling over the city.  They were so low that I could see the men inside the open doors.  Instead of being scared, I marvelled at the technology and wondered what they were doing?  It occured to me that if I was a woman in Libya, right then, I would be petrified for my life.

Over the weekend, at a beautiful wedding full of love and joy, I thought of Mohammed Nabbous, his family, his wife - who is expecting their first child, their fellow countrypeople and wondered how this would all turn out?  I sent them love and peace and prayers - in that mad way that only a confused aethiest can.

This evening, Radio National announced that Mohammed had been shot by a sniper yesterday and was dead.  He was 28 years old.  His baby is due in a few weeks and his wife is left, in Benghazi - fearing for her life and the future of her child.  She is continuing his work - asking for people to keep filming and getting the story of what is happening to the Libyan people out into the world.

I am crying as I write this as I can't get this young family out of my mind. I don't know this woman, Perditta, but I wish I did.  I wish I could bring her and her family to our home and make them tea.  Give them a safe and warm place to sleep.  A hospital she could have her baby in - with dignity and proper medical support.  A place to grieve her lost love and then the support to get on her feet and help her broken country up. 

I send her love.  Peace.  And the message that I, too, am grieving for the loss of her husband.  Rest In Peace, Mohammed Nabbous.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

More about the Fashion Challenge

Thank you to everyone who came to the Fashion Challenge Launch in Melbourne on 7 March.  It was a wonderful event - although I am sorry I didn't get to chat to anyone. 

FFW continues to work towards raising funds during March through the Fashion Challenge.  This is a big event for us so I have committed to spreading the word. 

Should you wish to hold a Fashion Challenge event in your workplace, home ... park... whatever, FFW have supplied the following 'helpful hints' to get you started:

  1. Decide on your team Fashion Challenge with your co-workers, family and friends... wear stripes with spots, wear an outrageous hat or stockings (or crazy ties or socks for men), wear orange, red or black from head to toe for a day - whatever it takes to have FUN and get people asking what you're up to!
  2. Register your team at www.fashionchallenge.org (click on Start Fundraising to go to the Gofundraise website and click on 'sign up now' next to the green 'login' button)
  3. Once you've registered your team, send the link to your Team Fashion Challenge page to the team so they can spread the word...
    If they don't know about Fitted for Work and how we make a difference to disadvantaged women, send them Angela's story http://www.evotest.net/sales/SecondLives_FFWMaster.html
  4. Read the Top Ten Tips for fundraising attached for more ideas and send it on to your team challengers...ask the boss to match what your team raises, post it on your facebook page, twitter it...
  5. Host a morning tea, lunch or after work drinks on 1 April and have a fashion parade. Give prizes for the most funds raised by a team member and the best dressed! Whatever you do, make it FUN....
The team at Fitted for Work are here to help! As am I... as always. I have a couple of fabulous invitations and posters for FFW, so if you would like them, please just let me know & I'll email.

It is 11:22pm as I write this ... and I'm so tired, I can't even motivate myself to walk into the bedroom to go to bed.  I am beyond exhausted just at the moment.  I have so much I would like to blog about... but we're all going to have to wait until tomorrow.

In the meantime, stay well & keep the people of Japan in your thoughts, prayers, musings and meditations.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Flexibility

I spoke at a conference today on behalf of Fitted For Work.  It went well & I got lots of interest - which is always fabulous for FFW.

The conference was on 'family friendly workplaces' and when I arrived the 200+ participants were listening to a panel discuss flexible work arrangments.  It seemed to focus on women who had children, which is interesting in itself, but then a participant said that with small children she had a 'right' to flexibility and she was offended by people who didn't have family responsibilities having a flexible arrangement at work.

I must admit, this statement made me MAD!!  I've previously been in a workplace where I was told that only women with families got to have flexible days and that their holiday requests would always be approved before the rest of us.  Regardless of the fact that this leaves out men, people with older family members who they care for and gay couples with kids, I would argue that it flies in the face (and the spirit) of anti-discrimination law.

So... I've been thinking about flexibility and work and what it means for me.  Due to the fact that the drive to work is over 75 minutes (one day) for me, my boss allows me to work at home 2 days a week - usually Wednesdays and Thursdays.  Clearly this arrangement is based on trust and a knowledge that I will do what I say I will do.  It is also possible due to having a computer and internet accessibility at home + my trusty BlackBerry. 

I struggled with the isolation at first but now I love it!  I am preparing a major submission at the moment so having quiet time to research and write means I get heaps more done than I would if I was in a noisy office.  It also means I work different hours - working into the night regularly so that I can do other things in the morning (such as appear at conferences).

I think that having flexibility in the workforce is essential - regardless of whether someone has children, or not.  Although I've chosen not to have children, I do a great deal of community/volunteer work which I would not be able to do if I didn't have some flexibility at work.  This allows me to actively participate in the community, bring a set of skills to organisations that they may not otherwise be able to afford plus build my own skills and networks.  I wonder whether the whingy woman - who clearly was the first woman in the world to work and have babies - has ever done any community work?

In other news, the Fitted For Work Fashion Challenge launch was fabulous last night!  Over 100 women (and 1 man) attended and it was a great success.  Although I am not shopping for the entirity of 2011, if you would like to donate to the Fashion Challenge, please do so before the end of March as I understand the website will go away.  We are doing well with the challenge, although my contribution is ... well, not great.  I'm working on it! 

Interesting article

Her Excellency, Quentin Bryce has called for quotas for women on boards.  As you know, I am heavily influenced by Ms Bryce and am a HUGE fan!  Just wanted to share.  x